words to live by ...
The "Instant Wisdom" of the following insights have taken over twelve years to research.
Want a happier life? Try to be open, flexible, and curious.
If you know someone who's not having a happy life, some of the following insights may help. Unhappiness is a "red-flag" for anyone to become more aware. If we don't become more aware, our life will simply follow the pattern of our past habits over and over again. But, if we pay attention, we can make conscious choices in how we respond to the what happens in our daily life. KEEP AN OPEN MIND--please read the insights slowly.
"Joy," "delight," "wonder," and "astonishment" are a part of life. If you're not happy, don't accept life as it is! Be assertive and start exploring. Investigate, be curious, and ask questions and your daily life will get better. Don't limit yourself by your own idea on how life is--find out what you don't know. Life is a do-it-yourself project.
EVERYONE HAS WORTH AND VALUE. Happy people have self-acceptance and like themselves. Everyone is okay---you are okay. Self-acceptance means you're a friend to yourself. We all need to love ourselves simply because we exist. YOU ARE NICER THAN YOU KNOW. You're an important, unique person with fingerprints of your own.
You're more good-looking, intelligent, able, and creative than you think.
If you're not happy, look in the mirror and smile. Do it again. Give yourself a wink!
Everyone has worth and value, including you! If your daily relationships (work, family, friends) make you feel as though you don't have any rights, read the book, "Your Perfect Right," by Alberti and Emmons.
THOUGHTFUL EFFORT IS NEEDED FOR HAPPINESS. If you want to know your future, look at your present actions. If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten. What a you do this week will help to determine what your life will be like next month or six months from now. You are not alone, someone else has had your problem, concern or obstacle. Dating tips, parenting skills, job hunting techniques, and all types of self-help books and websites are available.
READING ABOUT ANY SUBJECT THAT CONCERNS YOU WILL EMPOWER YOU.
Excuses and blame create a self-imposed prison. Mistakes are learning experiences.
Fear and anxiety can be eliminated with information. Read biography and self-help books and see how people with obstacles and problems endure. Browse in bookstores, libraries, and on the web. Everytime we learn something new, we become something new.
GOALS ARE GOOD. Happy people have goals and try to achieve them. With goals, 
backed by detailed plans of action, you eliminate a major cause of fear and insecurity. Life becomes worthwhile when you have goals. "Inch by inch anything's a cinch."
Break a goal down into steps and take one step at a time. Goals give you something positive to do for yourself and something to look forward to. NOTHING UNPLEASANT NEEDS TO REMAIN AS IT IS. There's no value in worrying because you can turn any problem into a project. Spend a few minutes everyday visualizing not only your goals, but also how you would like your life to be like.
MINDFULNESS is the quality of noticing, of being aware of what's happening in the moment. It's important to develop an awareness to everything we do. Take the time to stop and ask yourself: "Why am I doing this?" several times a day and in the evening.
Want no regrets on your death bed? Get some goals.
How do you want to be remembered?
Has anyone ever said on their death bed: "I should've watched more TV!"
Be fully present each moment and free yourself from the past.
THE QUALITY OF ONE'S LIFE DEPENDS ON THE QUALITY OF ONE'S ATTENTION.
Being busy just to be busy may not contribute to one's happiness. Observe what you are doing when you're doing it. The more our awareness increases, the happier we become. Three weeks for a person who's aware are the same as three months (or longer) for the person who isn't. Be aware and conscious of your body, your feelings, your reactions, and your experience from moment to moment. When you're doing something, don't be thinking about something else--just do what you are doing. Time is what life is made of--pay close attention to how you use your time.
Positive people enjoy more success because they experience mistakes as learning experiences. People with a negative attitude automatically "limit" themselves.Cynicism doesn't allow for options and creativity with solving problems.
OPTIMISM AND CHOICES ARE ALWAYS AVAILABLE.
You have to have the positive belief BEFORE the positive occurrence because the positive occurence is a result of the positive belief. "You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them." --Michael Jordan
THERE ARE SEVERAL SOLUTIONS TO ANY PROBLEM.
Thinking in terms of: either/or, black/white, right/wrong, them/us, success/failure; isn't allowing someone to see other possibilities.
LIFE IS ALWAYS MULTIPLE CHOICE. Life is full of options. Watch for the third, fourth, and fifth choice before making an important decision.
Try not to judge people or situations. If you get turned down for a date or a job-- try not to take it as personal--other factors could have been involved that you don't know about.
Everyone needs time to think...........to weigh all the options before making an important decision. NEVER 
MAKE A DECISION WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY OR SAD.
Try to become detached and at ease. By practicing detachment, standing back from the situation, you can look at what's going on in a more objective manner. Observe yourself the next time you get upset. Just observe, don't react and the anger or emotion will pass. Try to be calm and see the situation by observing it, by not
taking it as something personal. It's possible to learn something from every situation.
AWARENESS OF ANGER OR ANY EMOTION ALLOWS FOR A WISE RESPONSE RATHER THAN A BLIND REACTION.
PATIENCE IS ALWAYS NECESSARY. Try to pause and reflect before speaking or reacting. If upset, calm down before reacting to a situation. Be detached and at ease. By practicing detachment, standing back from the situation, a person can look at what's going on in a more objective manner. Everyone needs patience with one's self, with others, and with all situations.
Ask yourself:
"WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES of this choice that I'm making?"
By slowing down your reaction, you'll be giving yourself some calmness which leads to proper action. Every action has a consequence. Everyone is responsible for their actions. Life is very simple: what we give out, we get back. It's important to observe and pay attention before speaking or doing something. (Not doing anything is also an action.) We reap what we sow. It's karma: what goes around, comes around.
AFFIRMATIONS HELP PEOPLE TO REACH THEIR GOALS AND ACQUIRE NEW SKILLS.
We become what we dwell upon. Our thoughts determine our experiences. We can choose new thoughts andchange our life. When we replace destructive, inaccurate thoughts with those that are affirming and constructive we can become joyful.
Affirmations help to get rid of any negative past and any negative thinking.
If you want to be more happy, make positive statements about how you want your life to be like. Use the present tense, such as: "I am..." "I have..." or "I enjoy...."
It's easy for me to ask questions and to listen.
I am cheerful and energetic. I like myself. Life is good.
I have worth and value. I enjoy going places. I enjoy meeting people.
I say and think only positive words to myself. Everyday is a gift.
I am vitally alive and interested in life. It's easy for me to study and learn anything.
It's easy for me to observe myself. I feel good about myself.
I pause and reflect before I speak or act. I am calm, relaxed, and at ease.
I watch where my attention is---at all times. I am creative.
I am relaxed, kind, and patient with everyone and every situation.
I am thankful for everyone and everything. I am at ease in any situation.
POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS HELP TO CREATE A POSITIVE LIFE.
By reading affirmations daily, negative thoughts of fear, resentment, anger and doubt begin to be replaced with positive thoughts. Try putting some affirmations on 3x5 cards and read them two or three times a day. You can also take notes and review them on cards (job interview tips, dating tips, jokes, quotes.) There are more affirmations at the end of the "cool quotes" section.
SILENCE HAS VALUE.
If you want to be happier, try to put at least fifeteen minutes a day aside to meditate and close out the world. By renewing ourselves in daily meditation, we find a deep source of inner peace and strength. Meditation will 
restore your vital energy and is a stress reliever. This practice also helps you save time and money because
it helps you to see more clearly about daily situations. There are several ways to meditate and any library or bookstore should have a way that appeals to you.
In moments of stress or tension during the day, remember the breath. With the eyes open, not making a show of meditation, be with either rising-falling of your stomach or in-out breathing through your nostrils, even for a few minutes. Your mind will become more tranquil.
Peace and understanding can take place when you lower the noise level in your daily life. Try pushing the "mute" button on your remote during TV commercials.
If you have song lyrics running through your head and the sound system is off-- abstain from songs for awhile.
Some people think people on TV, or in music and movies are their friends. A real friend is someone you can share your thoughts with.
A good listener is a valuable friend because listening gives the important gifts of respect and attention.
A real friend visits you in the hospital and helps you when you have car trouble.
A real friend is someone who knows you and is concerned about you.
People who can name several close, supportive friends live with better healthand happiness. "It's the friends you can call at 4 a.m. that matter." --Marlene Dietrich
Peace can come from being in nature (even a nature photo/poster or plant will help).
Getting out of your residence helps you physically and mentally.
Your problems or concerns won't seem so large, if you get out and about.
Consider joining a social organization, a self-help group, a hobby/book club, or a church/meditation group. No one has to be alone when there are so many groups available. Happy people are outgoing--they go places and do things.
Instead of being mad at the government, or a business, or society for the way it is, let's accept it and do what we can to improve it. Your opinion counts! Be assertive and call or write your county supervisor, or House of Representative, or a business the next time you see a problem. It's okay to question authority. It's necessary to register to vote and vote! Life asks us to be involved--anything less is simply less life.
Make sure you're in the proper job or career, so you like what you're doing-- resentment can lead to all kinds of problems (alcohol, drugs, all kinds of abuse, over-eating, excessive TV watching) and never living your life to the fullest. Work can provide not only economic reward, but also personal satisfaction for your efforts. If we're doing our jobs only for money, we're cutting off one of the principal avenues for happiness. Our work can enhance our self-esteem and make us feel good about ourselves. WHO YOU ARE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT YOU HAVE. If you're not happy, begin paying off your bills and look for a job/career you'll like.
If you start thinking negative thoughts on Sunday about your job onMonday, it's time to read "What Color IsYour Parachute?" by Richard Nelson Boles. It's an easy to read bookthat shows that job hunting, self-assessment, and career planning needn't be dull or hard tasks.
If you're unemployed, consider part-time, temporary, or volunteer work.
Even being underemployed is better than being unemployed because it shows an employer that you're employable.
Whoever employs you does it for a selfish reason--YOU MUST BE WORTH MORE THAN THE MONEY THEY PAY YOU. If you're not happy with where you are, get a better attitude and start improving your skills, or consider new work.
Love and Work Insights
Love takes time, don't rush into a relationship. Do as many things as possible together in public. Actions always speak louder than words when observing a person's character. Values are what give people depth; a shallow person has very few values. Values can include: respect, responsibility, kindness, fairness, courage, honesty/integrity, perseverance, and self-discipline.
The essence of a happy relationship is the communication of feelings and thoughts with each other. There are several good books on relationships. "Love is the free exercise of choice. Two people love each other only
when they are quite capable of living without each other but choose to live with each other." --M. Scott Peck
Negativity is not healthy. Hatred, hostility, fear, contempt, humiliation, and domination were all used well by Hitler. Watch out for hatred of any type. Often, what people call "thinking" is merely recycling the opinions of others.
Opinions limit us and our happiness. Happiness entails independent thinking in contrast to passive conformity to the beliefs of others. To judge is to withold yourself from living--to limit yourself.
People with a purpose are happy. There's a sense of purpose when you're doing what you're "supposed" to be doing. There's more to life than comfort, security, and entertainment. There's a purpose, a reason for being that everyone has to find on their own. Take some time, each day, to find out what gives your daily life any purpose or meaning. Don't just eat, drink, sleep, work, there's more to life than that. If you're not happy, don't accept life as it is--it can be better and happier.
Distractions, such as TV, radio, too much sleep, songs, bingo, movies, dating, gambling, video games, romance novels, and alcohol and drugs need to be curtailed. No matter how much time you've wasted in the past, you still have an entire tomorrow. Success depends upon using time wisely--by planning and setting priorities. Some of your "new found time" could be used for reading nonfiction, working toward goals, going back to school, meditating, researching for a better job, or for searching for your life's purpose.
Impatience which demands quick success leads to frustration. Go slowly, there's no need to "rush" or "force" anything. Happy people seek help and ask questions when they need information. Don't believe anything blindly! Try reading these insights again and observe your daily life.
