Jokes, riddles, one-liners, puns, and humor abound to make even the grouchiest grouch laugh or at least smile.

famous quotes...

 

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
--Phil Donhahue

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
--Robert Heinlein

I'm a true believer in karma. You get what you give, whether it's good or bad.
--Sandra Bullock

Reality is something you rise above. 
--Liza Minnelli

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
--Eleanor Roosevelt

Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.
--Will Smith

The important thing is to not stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
--Albert Einstein

It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.
--John Wooden

Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.
--Charles Schulz

It's only through listening that you learn, and I never want to stop learning.
--Drew Barrymore

Your children need your presence more than your presents.
--Jesse Jackson

A lot of people are afraid to say what they want.That's why they don't get what they want.
--Madonna

Begin challenging your own assumptions. Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won't come in.
--Alan Alda

It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin barefoot irreverence to their studies; they are not here to worship what is known, but to question it. 
--J. Bronowski

If you don't know what your passion is, realize that one reason for your existence on earth is to find it.
--Oprah Winfrey

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong admit it, Whenever you're right, shut up.

If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian.
--Paul McCartney

Wise people seek solutions; the unaware only cast blame.
--Chinese saying

The child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering.
--Dr. Benjamin Spock

And after reading Thoreau I felt how much I have lost by leaving nature out of my life.
--F. Scott Fitzgerald

Everyone of us needs to show how much we care for each other and, in the process, care for ourselves.
--Princess Diana

The only failure is not to try.
--George Clooney

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.
--Henry Ford

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.
--John Lennon

When I got my first television set, I stopped caring so much about having close relationships.  
--Andy Warhol

Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a
vigorous mind.
   
--Samuel Johnson

Our children give us the opportunity to become the parents we always wished we'd had.
--Louise Hart

The man who, in a fit of melancholy, kills himself today may have wished to live had he waited a week.
--Voltaire

Beauty is only skin deep. I think what's really important is finding a balance of mind, body and spirit.
--Jennifer Lopez

Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results.
--Willie Nelson

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
--Marie Curie

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.
--English saying

Everyone's a teacher if you listen.
--Doris Roberts

The best way to predict your future is to create it.
--Peter Drucker

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
--Theodore Roosevelt

I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother
to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift would be curiosity.

--Eleanor Roosevelt

If you would not be forgotten,
As soon as you are dead and rotten,
Either write things worth reading
Or do things worth the writing.

--Ben Franklin

 

Life is a series of commas, not periods.
--Matthew McConaughey

No one is more enslaved than a slave who doesn't think they're enslaved.
--Kate Beckinsale

I am still learning.
--Michelangelo (at the age of 80)

You can't undo the past...but you can certainly not repeat it.
--Bruce Willis

Treat the earth well, It was not given to you by your parents, It was loaned to you by your children.
--Native American saying

Time is the coin of life. Only you can determine how it will be spent.
--Carl Sandburg

Acceptance and tolerance and forgiveness, those are life-altering lessons.
--Jessica Lange

Here's to the future! The only limits are the limits of our imagination. Dream up the kind of world you want to live in, dream out loud, at high volume.
--Bono

Our lives are given meaning by our actions--accomplishments made while we are "here" that extend beyond our own time.
--Maya Lin

I think the purpose of life is to be happy, to be useful, to be responsible, to be compassionate. It is above all, to matter; to count, to stand for something, to have made a difference that you lived at all. 
--Leo Rosten

Clinging to the past is the problem. Embracing change is the solution.
--Gloria Steinem

Until you value yourself, you won't value your time.
--M.Scott Peck

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.
--Lucille Ball

You don't have to be a "person of influence" to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.
--Scott Adams

It is never too late to be what you might have been.
--George Eliot

No person is your friend who demands your silence or denies your right to grow.
--Alice Walker

When one will not, two cannot quarrel.
--Spanish saying

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
--George Jean Nathan

Nobody cares if you don't dance well. Just get up and dance.
--Dave Barry

A goal without a plan is just a wish.
--Antoine de Saint-Exupery

The failure to read good books both enfeebles the vision and strengthens our most fatal tendency—the belief that the here and now is all there is.
-- Allan Bloom

Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere.
--Carl Sagan

Nothing will work unless you do.
--Maya Angelou

Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.
--Robert Fulghum

I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future: It is you.
--Sandra Day O'Connor

Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. If you don't, who will?
--Jon Bon Jovi

You ought to be thankful, a whole heaping lot, for the places and people you're lucky you're not.
--Dr. Seuss

Help and you will abolish apathy--the void that is so quickly filled by ignorance and evil.
--Tom Hanks

At first, I only laughed at myself. Then I noticed that life itself is amusing. I've been in a generally good mood ever since.
--Marilyn vos Savant

Life can't give me Joy and Peace --It's up to me to will it.

Life just gives me Time and Space --It's up to me to fill it.

Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships.
--Jodie Foster

The greatest glory never comes from falling, but fromrising each time you fall.
--Clay Aiken

I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me.
--Erica Jong

The great thing in this world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving.
--Oliver Wendell Holmes

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
--Carol Burnett

Take a stand for what's right. Raise a ruckus and make a change. You may not always be popular, but you'll be part of something larger and bigger and greater than yourself. Besides, making history is extremely cool.
--Samuel L. Jackson

Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life.
--Rachel Carson

So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.
--Christopher Reeve

QUESTION AUTHORITY !
--American saying

I can accept failure, but I can't accept not trying.
--Michael Jordan

Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.
--Grandma Moses

The best things in life aren't things.
--Art Buchwald



more affirmations..

Change your thoughts and change your life. Affirmations repeated daily will empower you. Use the ones on this website or create your own. The words in the affirmations should resonate with you. You can read affirmations on an index card, or write them out daily, or record them. See the "Insights" section for more information about affirmations.

It's easy for me to observe. I am detached and at ease.

I trust myself.

I say and think only constructive words to myself. I am glad I'm here.

Every day I pursue my goals to make them come true.

I have an attitude of graditude.

I respect and easily listen to everyone. What I can imagine, I can create.

I am at peace with the present moment. I use my time wisely. Life is good. I have enthusiasm for everything I do. I have a sense of fun. I like myself. I learn something from every situation. Anything positive is possible. I bless this moment /situation /people /person. It's easy for me to meditate. Peace, be still. It's easy for me to observe with silence.

I love who I am and who I am becoming. I enjoy the present moment.

I enjoy meditating. I have fewer and fewer random thoughts as I meditate.

Every moment is a new moment. There is value in the present moment.

I always have the choice of how to spend my moment(s) or the next moment.

I live in the present moment. I chose to be happy and peaceful.

I am an asset in any relationship, situation, or organization.

This too, will pass. I am detached and at ease. All is well


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